Would I quit?

I haven't been shooting models for very long, at least compared to many other photographers.  It's been a bit over a year since my first "model" photoshoot.  Since that time I've probably done 25-30 photoshoots.  I know I'll look back someday and realize how this really is just geting started, even though I do put so much effort, creativity, and energy into every shoot.  Also, despite not having done this for a long time, I feel it's become part of my existence, part of who I am, and the desire to keep creating is a life-giving force to me.  That's was pretty much the extent of my awareness of this pursuit's "hold" on me until fairly recently.

Since I'm a single man, I had not had to give much thought to what some potential partner's reaction to all this might be.  However, a couple months ago I did have a string of dates with one particular woman - not a model, but just someone I dated for a bit.  She became aware of my photographic interests fairly soon into our knowing each other, and it was quite obvious she was not comfortable with the idea, even as she visibly stiffened when I mentioned it, and tried to explain why it was an interest to me.  Her first pre-judgment was that this was somehow involved with sexual impropriety, or something along those lines.  She hadn't even seen any of my work, and she was already dismissing this as something unacceptable.

Falling in Love

I wonder if other photographers have had the feeling of "falling in love" with their models before.  I know it might sound a little bit silly, but as I was reflecting on my own feelings around the time of a photoshoot (before, during, and after) I think it's not such a far-fetched notion.  I can understand how these kind of feelings would emerge. 

How could that be?  On the surface the entire episode is grounded in nothing more than externals: appearances and even heavily produced and edited to elicit a desired effect.  Ah - but what is that desired effect?  I suppose it's different depending on the photographer, but for me one of the things I try to create is a hunger, a thirst, in the viewer that is left somehow unquenched.  So, if this is really the end product, perhaps it's not so surprising that I can fall under the intoxicating effects of my own "drug".  Maybe this is like the occupational hazards a bartender faces...

Paralysis and No-shows

I have time to write in my blog today, although it was a little bit unexpected.  That's because I had a photoshoot planned which ultimately got scuttled by a model no-show - the veritable "flaking out" phenomenon.  Maybe she didn't really flake, but we had scheduled the shoot one week back, and I set aside time accordingly.  She had not returned a follow up email I sent earlier this week, but I knew she was travelling so didn't see that as cause for alarm.  However, when I called her yesterday evening to confirm, she did not answer the call and did not return it.  At that point I became paralyzed - were we on or not???

(By the way, these photos are just here for your enjoyment. This model has nothing to do with this topic.  :)).

What is someone in her position thinking?  Well, I should say that I'm willing to consider the possibility that she had an unfortunate occurance in her life, and due to the dire circumstances was unable to contact me to set things right by properly cancelling or postponing.  So I will allow for that possibility.

That said, I will go ahead and share my thoughts on this subject.  Maybe it will give some model, who might read this, pause before she could consider bailing on a modeling appointment without providing due notice.

What will you use the photos for?

Sometimes, before a shoot is fully arranged with a model, I will get asked, "What will you use the photos for?".  It's an interesting question.  Maybe it will be good to write about that - somebody might read this and have some idea of my answer ahead of time.

Well, if it were an ideal world. I would answer, "These photos will be published in a widely circulated publication" (fill in your favorit - web site, magazine, book, whatever).  That is my hope, and I should think in general, the hope of most any model.  I realize there are some models that might not want any of their pictures published, and for most models, some pictures taken that they don't want published (that's why I make a provision in our release agreement that allows the model to identify certain pics they would not want published).  But for most of us in this pursuit, it is something of a dream or aspiration to be published.

For now, my answer is basically this: to build up my portfolio and my aresenal of skills to pave the way to be someday published.

Before a shoot even starts.

Recently I think I've been making some progress as a photographer, and hopefully, as an artist.  I can feel and see the difference in my approach to the work over the past six months or so, and I believe it's showing in the shots I've been posting.  Actually, as this blog is addressing, I'm not even keeping up with posting many of my shots.  It is no simple matter to sort through the shots after a shoot and then pick one or two to post as the best.

In any case, even with a small sampling of my recent stuff being publicly visible, it seems that more and more these days a model I contact will respond that "yes", she would like to work with me.  This in itself is a marked change since I first started photographing models (about a year ago).  It used to be that I'd write an email (through Model Mayhem) and never get a reply.  So I'd write more, and more, and on it would go until somebody would respond.  I completely understand that.  Who wants to work with a photographer who's just starting out, and hasn't demonstrated competence with the basics, let alone established their own unique style and approach?